My relationship with my husband is one of the most important things in my life. It is something I am most proud of because it showcases commitment, the effort that goes into active maintenance and the positive impact on life that can result from doing those things well. It is the ultimate example of partnership, compromise and collaboration. It has taught me more about myself, what I value in others and more about what I want to represent in the world than any other single influence aside from my immediate family. But beyond that, it is proof that the world is a little more interesting than I had once thought. Here is someone that started out as a complete stranger who is now closer than family and part of who I am as a person.
Our story together is not typical. I was a shy 15-year-old and my husband was a shy-er 18-year-old. We met while working at an ice cream shop over the summer in Delaware as he was preparing to go off to Syracuse the following fall. Knowing how unlikely it was for a college freshman to honor a two month old relationship with a near tween, I didn’t expect much after the summer ended. But we couldn’t shake each other. One day in May 2004, as I was working on my end of the year science project, which happened to be on blueberries, the fruit, (way to go private school education) we said “let’s do this”, made out on the couch for two and a half hours, and never parted since. We realized at an early age that we liked each other better than we liked anyone else and took a risk by assuming that would never change. Our wedding day served as a beautiful reminder and confirmation that we were correct in this assumption.
Over the course of 12 years as an official unit, we’ve lived in a different country together, occupied 7 apartments in 3 different states, celebrated countless holidays – and surrounded ourselves with an amazing group of friends throughout all of it. Such a wonderful bank of memories and emotions were brought to the surface on our wedding day. It was everything I hoped it would be and more. The joy was inexplicable.
None of my wedding photos capture any of this.
They do emphasize the “for better or for worse” clause because we both look pale uncomfortable and disheveled throughout the documentation of the evening. If ever we were self-conscious about a feature or aspect of our appearance, it seemed emphasized on film. (The two photographers weren’t fully responsible for that part, I mean, they are our faces/awkward poses after all but some guidance and art direction would have been appreciated!) Vanity aside, what was more bothersome to me was the countless technical photo faux pas. In an honest business world, your price should reflect the value you can provide to a customer. Things like lens flares, out of focus portraits, maladjusted ISO, incorrect white balance (and many others that I couldn’t find a term for on Google) were prevalent throughout the pictures.
So I’m calling a do over.
This fall, we will be dressing up and taking to the streets of Chicago. Sadly, you only get one shot to force your closest friends to spend lots of money on flights and attire in your honor, so these photos will feature only me and David (although I will be extending the invitation to all wedding party members). I am just as much in love with my husband in October 2015 as I was in October 2012 so capturing our love on film is as relevant now as it was then.
It is not my goal to slander, and I take full responsibility for my lack of research/due diligence during the hiring process. So, in an effort to stop victimizing myself, I see this #rewedding as the best solution to the problem.
I found a Tadashi Shoji dress that I love and “bought” it using Threadflip credits, dusted off my husband’s suit, and hired a talented photographer-friend with whom we are comfortable and who will surely capture our 12+ year old spark on camera.
Updates to come… In the meantime you can read my other wedding tips and retrospectives.